You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t. You have to stand out as a performer, be a little different than the others. Be memorable. But make sure you conform, be classic, and stick to the standards…wha?
I am getting so confused. Certain festivals and shows are known to have the “they’re only looking for classic” reputation. I could apply for these shows, but really I’d be wasting my time then, huh? If that’s what they want, then so be it. But is that what most shows want? Can neo ever succeed if classic is tried and true? Can variety make it, if classic is what people want? What do people want? Or is there an inclination towards classic because now it’s on a decline? And were do I fit in on all this? I’m not sure, and based on my lack of experience I don’t know if I will ever really know.
I only wonder this because, am I supposed to quit polesque? Am I supposed to throw my stage pole in the harbor (figuratively speaking) wash my hands of it all, and say “I tried and this thing is holding me back, and I quit.” Am I supposed to be myself as a performer, or be someone else? Because pole is me, everything else is not Do I do what I think others will like, or do I do what I believe in? But maybe I’m not believing in polesque so much anymore.
I wonder, should I quit?
In all honesty, seeing as how pole has been a part of my life for so many years, I don’t know if I can quit pole. To never practice at home seems sad and empty. But practicing at home is very different than shows, and I have to ask myself “Is this thing holding me back?” Is having a large prop that most people associate with strip clubs good or bad for the scene? Good or bad for me? I’m not sure now, as things are very unstable for me.
As I see shows turn to smaller venues in order to maintain the scene, this scares me. I need space to perform on my stage pole. Most non-variety acts can do their show almost wherever, but there are some of us that require more space. Would I be a more accessible performer with out the pole? While I have done a few non-pole routines, I thought that being known and working with pole was a way to stand out, and that was my plan for so many years. Maybe it’s done more harm than good.
Could me doing polesque really be a performance crutch, and if I was any good, I would succeed more as a classic performer?